How to Save a Life

When we talk about crisis, we are talking about a person’s risk of suicide. Did you know that suicide, as of 2014, is the 2^nd leading cause of death among ages 10-24? And even with the outrageously high number of deaths by suicide among youths, our community is still not discussing the matter enough. That's why I want to talk about the issue of suicide today. Just like the song How to save a life by The Fray, I hope this post can be of help to those who want to reach out and help someone in a crisis, but do not know what to do.

(Listen to The Fray's How to save a life in the video below)

Sometime last semester, as I was sitting in my dorm room, studying for an exam, I got a sudden phone call from my mom. I answered the call, and the first time I heard her say something I knew something was wrong. She sounded a bit distressed. She asked if I knew this family friend we had from the Philippines, and I said yes. A few minutes later, she then proceeded telling me that he passed away from suicide, a couple of hours prior.

Naturally, the news induced a stress response from me. Death will always be a distressing matter. Death by suicide, on the other hand, induces not only feelings of sadness, but also feelings of frustration. Like all of the previous incidence of suicide I've heard and known, that family friend’s death was also preventable. And, it kind of baffles me that a lot of people don't get that idea. 

By the end of this blog post, I am not saying everyone should go about diagnosing and treating mental health conditions. That’s a job for professional psychologists and psychiatrists. However, after reading this piece, I do hope that you will be able to at least detect some warning signs, and reach out to someone in need of a hand and ear. 

Be on the lookout for the warning signs. Warning signs are noticeable signs indicating that a person may be at impending risk of attempting suicide. Warning signs can be mood and behavioral changes.

Source: American Association of Suicidology

What are the things you can do if someone you know is in crisis?

• Ask them directly. If you think someone is at risk of suicide, asking them if they are having suicidal ideation and thoughts is the best way to make sure if they are suicidal. 

Source: American Association of Suicidology

• Take their words seriously. If someone you know has indicated that they want to take their life, never assume that it is a joke.

When talking to someone who is at risk, avoid doing the following:

• Minimizing their feelings. Those of us who've never experienced major depression literally cannot imagine what it feels like. Do not tell them to get over it!
• Trying to convince them that living life is worth it. Those conversations can be done when the person has passed the stage of crisis.
• Advice to fix the issue. If someone is in crisis, what they need is not some who will give them an advice, but someone who will hear them. Lend them your ear, and don’t be judgmental!

BE SENSITIVE and TRUST YOUR GUT. If you are concerned about someone, always assume that you are the only one who is going to reach out. A lot of people end up not reaching out for the fear of being wrong and embarrassed that the person they reached out to wasn’t really experiencing a crisis. But, you know what? Being embarrassed is a whole lot better than not verifying if someone was having suicidal thoughts.

Please remember, the problem won’t go away by itself. It is very important that people who are experiencing a crisis need to receive professional treatment immediately. As a community, we must work together and be proactive in connecting them to the right resources. This will help prevent the occurrence of suicide, saving someone's life. Please reach out to the university's counseling center, or any local psychiatric service provider, if necessary. If you'd like to read more about crisis and how to respond as a bystander, please visit the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, or the Mental Health First Aid USA.